these three apps all aim to strengthen relationships, but they solve different problems. here's how they compare.
quick summary
| tended | lasting | gottman card decks | |
|---|---|---|---|
| approach | remembers the little things and nudges you at the right moment | structured, therapy-informed program | on-demand conversation card decks |
| format | note what you learn; get reminded later | multi-week guided sessions and assessments | browse decks, pick a question whenever |
| time | a minute here and there | 15–30 minutes per session | as long as you want, no schedule |
| price | one plan, both partners | freemium, subscription for full program | free |
tended
built around remembering, not scheduling. when your partner mentions something worth holding onto — a preference, a stressful week, a gift idea — you note it, and tended surfaces it back to you at the right moment instead of letting it get lost. no sessions to complete, no streak, no quiz.
lasting
modeled on structured therapy techniques, lasting walks couples through assessments and multi-week programs addressing specific relationship areas. a better fit for couples wanting a guided path.
gottman card decks
a free app offering research-backed conversation-starter decks. no memory or reminder system — it's a reference tool you open when you want prompts, not something that holds onto what you've learned about your partner over time.
bottom line
want to stop forgetting the little things and act on them at the right time? tended. want a structured, guided program to work through? lasting. want free, on-demand prompts with no tracking? gottman card decks.
is lasting a replacement for couples therapy?
lasting is modeled on therapy techniques and structured like a guided program, but it isn't a replacement for licensed couples therapy. it's better suited to couples wanting a self-directed curriculum than to couples working through serious conflict.
are gottman card decks free?
yes, gottman card decks is free. it doesn't include reminders, tracking, or a memory of what you've already discussed — it's an on-demand reference tool rather than something that follows your relationship over time.
which is best for a couple who wants something low-effort?
tended is built specifically for low effort — jotting down a detail takes seconds and there's no session or curriculum to keep up with. lasting requires more time per session, and gottman card decks requires remembering to open it.